Thursday, November 6, 2014

Mending Pieces and Starting Over


I found this written in my son's school agenda. I'm not sure when he wrote it and neither is he. We discussed it and it's clear to me that he really doesn't hate the people at his school. But, the school work, his frustration at not understanding and having to be pulled out for services were all adding up to make him unhappy. He did have good moments at school and the teachers and staff there love him. I have absolutely no doubt about this. I pointed this out to him and he smiled. He definitely wrote this hoping it would be seen. I don't know what he thought would happen and he shrugged his shoulders when I asked.

Today, #2 and #3 asked me if they could write letters to Santa. We were out and about already but I said we could definitely add this to our list of work for tomorrow or next week. #3 said "no, that can't count as work because it would be something fun." My heart broke a little when he said this. It seems I have my work cut out for me for the next few months.

I loved school as a kid even when my teachers weren't great. It was a safe haven for me when I didn't have that at home. I had hoped my kids would feel a similar way about school. Indeed #1 and #2 used to wake up excited to go and sad when there wasn't school. #1 is still happy to go but doesn't complain when there isn't school either.

Call me crazy but 8-10 year olds should not have to sit for hours at a time taking tests (some of these tests are also badly written but that's an entirely different issue). They should be moving and exploring the world around them. They should be asking questions and be given the tools to find the answer. I'm not saying everything should be glitter and rainbows all the time but maybe more than not. And I certainly have no idea how this would work in a room of 22-26 students!

In some ways, we have been homeschooling or supplementing all along: Music lessons, various trips etc. What we have lost at this point is the morning battles and the homework battles. I love not having to worry that they aren't going to get enough sleep since it can be a struggle to get my kids settled at night. #2 seems to naturally fall asleep between 10 and 11 these days and wakes up around 9. #3 settles down around the same time but wakes up around 8. In the morning,I just have to to tell my oldest to get up and she does the rest. With the other 2, it was world war 3 every morning! Not that I blame them, A 6am wake up isn't fun for most of us.

On the flip side, I'm tired at the end of the day! Like exhausted mentally. I need a certain amount of  down time every day and finding that balance while home schooling and being a single parent most weeks makes me feel like I'm walking on a tight rope made of fire. Coffee has always been my friend, now it is totally my BFF!

In the meantime, I'm setting smaller goals for the rest of this school year and rethinking curriculum choices for next fall.


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